Wolf Blitzer, drama queen, turning news into U.S.-vs.-them fantasy thriller

Tension! Apprehension! High drama!

You're in the Situation Room!

You just know Wolf Blitzer is in the wrong profession. He would've made a great White House Spokesperson for the Bush Administration; or perhaps a writer for 24 or The West Wing. It's all a drama, a show-down between Good (Bush, aka Blitzer's Hero) and Evil (non-Lieberman Democrats and Enemies as Decided by Cheney & Friends) when Blitzer is telling you what to believe. Peep the transcript from the opening of September 19's Shituation Room--which you're in:

Happening now, it's 7:00 p.m. at the United Nations where Iran's president is only moments away from addressing the General Assembly. He's gone full speed ahead with the suspect nuclear program. Will he now dare the world to do something about it? We'll bring you Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's speech live this hour.

President Bush offers a vision of peace to the world's Muslims and to the Iranian people, but he warns Iran's leaders have consequences for their defiance. ...

Tonight, high drama on the U.N. stage where Iran's defiant president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is due to speak at the U.N. General Assembly in the next several moments. We're going to carry his remarks live this hour, remarks that could push some dangerous buttons in his nuclear standoff with the West.

CNN's Jack Cafferty and our White House correspondent Suzanne Malveaux are standing by. First though let's go to CNN's Aneesh Raman. He's outside the United Nations, to set the stage for these dramatic words we're about to hear. Aneesh, you've spent lots of time in Iran in recent weeks, give our viewers a sense of what we can expect.

ANEESH RAMAN, CNN CORRESPONDENT: We cannot, Wolf, expect dramatically controversial statements like we've heard from Iran's president before, that Israel should be wiped off the map, that the Holocaust was a myth. Instead he is likely going to soften his tone. When I was in Iran a few weeks ago, every day leading up to that August 31 deadline his tone became softer.

(Emphasis mine.)

Ohh, rejected! By a real reporter! Blitzer's dramatic political fantasies are creative and exciting (you're in the Situation Room, after all) -- too bad they must be, at times, devalued by the "reporting" of "reporters" on "the scene".

Shame on facts, which interrupt Blitzer's seemingly-17 daily on-air hours of fear-mongering, leading questions ("Will he now dare the world to do something about it?") and misleading statements ("remarks that could push some dangerous buttons in his nuclear standoff with the West"), and continuous rehashing and peddling of Bush Administration talking points and spin.

You may have noticed above my highlighting of a certain instance of Blitzer's ferociously pro-Bush biaspin (bias + spin; you saw it here first), which is often all too apparent on The Situation Room. In Blitzer's odd world of reporting, Bush is offering "a vision of peace to the world's Muslims and to the Iranian people" -- which is a laughable statement from a "journalist" who has been covering Bush's entire aggressive presidency -- while the Iranian leader is a menacing, nuclear demon, about to thumb his nose at the world at the UN. No matter that the facts don't correlate with Blitzer's always-Neo-Connish propaganda dissemination (sorry, reporting). He must've dreamed Ahmadinejad's speech during his pre-broadcast beauty sleep, after studying up on the latest RNC press releases and his pre-nap reading, The Weekly Standard, Attack Iran Now! The Magazine, the Protocols of the Elders of Ahmadinejad, and other such apparent Blitzer favorites.

And to our readers, you're in the Shituation Room.