I never gave much credence to conspiracy theories -- until Karl Rove succeeded in reelecting George W. Bush, who then used the threat of non-existent "weapons of mass destruction" to invade a sovereign nation and start another foreign war that still continues. The latest news that smells like Rove and looks like those MIA WMD is the wholesale closing of military bases announced by the Pentagon on May 13.

I'm not a military expert, but given that U.S. forces are stretched thin in both Afghanistan and Iraq (as well as elsewhere in the world), wouldn't the military need most of the supporting facilities they have?

After the announcement that the Willow Grove Naval Air Station was among those to be closed, Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum immediately took the media podium and said the multi-service WGNAS (that hosts the Navy, the Marines Corp, the Air Force, the Army Reserves, and the Pennsylvania National Guard) was "just the kind of" multi-service facility the Pentagon said it needed more of. And the Pentagon did say that. With flags waving, Sen. Santorum vowed he intended to fight to keep the base open.

Republican politicians are in control in Washington. They and their commander-in-chief control the military. Rick Santorum - one of the evangelical Christian Right's Golden Boys and one of the seven leading Republicans in the U.S. Senate - is facing a tough reelection campaign in 2006, especially in Philadelphia and its suburbs, which is where the Willow Grove Naval Air Station is located.

Doesn't it seem like a Rovian strategy to put some facilities on the Pentagon's hit list that the government really has no intention of closing so that endangered Republican politicians can come galloping up on their white horses to "save the day" and, in so doing, better their chances of reelection?

About other Rovian strategies there can be no doubt. Consider The House of Worship Free Speech Restoration Act. It would encourage pastors to preach hate and politics from the pulpit without risking their churchs' tax-exempt status. Matt Friedeman elaborated and advised in a May 12, 2005 story from the Christian news service AgapePress:

"As a middle-aged pastor and a seminary professor for nearly 20 years, let me add a little counsel for young pastors ready to set the world aflame for Christ:

"Stick to the basics. The Word of God clearly explained and spoken by pastors who are Spirit-filled, driven by Great Commission purpose and are themselves in the cultural fight (beyond their preaching ministries) is what is changing the world for the glory of God."

Whatever a "spirit-filled" pastor says from the pulpit, no matter how vile or how politically motivated, would be protected speech meant "to set the world aflame for Christ." Interesting metaphors. They're reminiscent of the fiery rhetoric of the Holy Inquisition when subhuman "animals" were tortured and burned at the stake by politically motivated "spirit-filled" clergymen. Today's "spirit-filled" hate-mongers include James Dobson, Louis Sheldon, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and, of course, Rev. Fred Phelps of Westboto Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas.

James Dobson knows "hate" well and uses the word as often as possible in his rhetoric against anyone who disagrees with his messianic megalomania: "[Sen.] Patrick Leahy is a 'God's people' hater. I don't know if he hates God, but he hates God's people."

Louis Sheldon once suggested that homosexuals be rounded up and put into concentration camps. An apt destination since Rev. Sheldon believes "Gays are like Hitler and the Gestapo."

Jerry Falwell said - on September 13, 2001 - that gays Americans were to blame for the 9/11 terrorist attacks. He did so on Pat Robertson's 700 Club telecast.

Presbyterian Dobson better watch out. As Pat Robertson said on his 700 Club (January 14, 1991), "You say you're supposed to be nice to the Episcopalians and the Presbyterians and the Methodists and this, that, and the other thing. Nonsense. I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist."

As for Rev. Fred Phelps, his church's web site says it all:
www.godhatesfags.com.

Armed with The House of Worship Free Speech Restoration Act, these "men of God" could wage unrestrained holy war against the ethics of equality and all those who fight for a more just and humane world. One of their Rovian media cohorts has already begun such an assault against PETA, People for the Ethical treatment of Animals. That's "ethical treatment" - ethics - something the leaders of the evangelical Christian Right and their political hero Tom DeLay seem to know absolutely nothing about.

On May 12, 2005, CCF's Times Square "PETAKillsAnimals.com" billboard was a featured story on World Net Daily (WND), a far-right "free press" with an attitude. WND is run by Joseph Farah, who seems to favor the death penalty for adulterers and uses such delightful terms as "scumbucket" in his "journalism." On March 18, 2005, WND featured a story entitled "Throw out all female members of Congress!" So it's not surprising that World Net Daily found the Center for Consumer Freedom's attack on People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals newsworthy, but what's behind the billboard and the attack?

On their web site, the Center for Consumer Freedom claims "From July 1998 through the end of 2003, PETA killed over 10,000 dogs, cats, and other 'companion animals' - at its Norfolk, Virginia headquarters. That's more than five defenseless animals every day."

But in its response to questions about the CCF ad, PETA said, "We do not run a shelter. In fact, we refer every healthy, cute, young animal we can to shelters. And some of the animals we rescue are lost companions whom we are able to joyfully reunite with their families. Of the homeless animals we take in ourselves, the healthy and adoptable ones are fostered, adopted, or taken to local shelters. However, most of the animals we receive are broken beings for whom euthanasia is, without a doubt, the most humane option. To learn more, please see our fact sheet."

CCF bemoaned the euthanizing of "more than five defenseless animals every day," but had absolutely nothing to say about the millions of defenseless animals brutally killed every day by the meat industry (not to mention the unethical treatment the animals suffer before being slaughtered: things like debeaking young chickens, cutting the tails off young pigs, removing their teeth and ripping out their testicles, all without anesthesia). Could CCF's silence be because the organization - run by lobbyist Richard Berman - is a front group for the industries that perpetrate such unethical treatment of animals?

In their "About Us," CCF claims "The Center for Consumer Freedom is a nonprofit coalition of restaurants, food companies, and consumers working together to promote personal responsibility and protect consumer choices. The growing cabal of 'food cops,' health care enforcers, militant activists, meddling bureaucrats, and violent radicals who think they know 'what's best for you' are pushing against our basic freedoms." One has to wonder if CCF considers the American Medical Association, the American Heart Association and the American Cancer Society to be "food cops" and "health care enforcers" as well, since they all advocate lifestyles and dietary choices at odds with the products of CCF's major financial supporters: Philip Morris, Outback Steakhouse, KFC.

As PETA noted, "These companies are concerned about the strides that PETA is making that are changing their industries and compelling them to take animal welfare concerns seriously, so they hope to scare people away from caring about animals by spending millions on ads  like this."

So what, then, is the goal of the Center for Consumer Freedom's "PETAKillsAnimals.com" campaign? It's right there, on their website: "Sign the petition to have PETA's tax-exemption status removed."

Conspiracies and Rovian Strategies

The House of Worship Free Speech Restoration Act protects the non-profit tax-exempt status of churches and ministries whose pastors and prophets belch forth hatred against fellow Americans (especially gay ones), and encourages those same "spirit-filled" clergymen to use their pulpits to tell the flock how to vote and to support unethical "leaders" like Tom DeLay. Meanwhile, Berman and CCF work toward removing the non-profit tax-exempt status of an organization whose message of "ethical treatment" for animals really cannot be impugned, so that fat-cat (Republican) lobbyists and their financially friendly industries can continue making big profits from the unethical treatment - and death - of animals.

Karl Rove opened Pandora's Box to find ways to reelect George W. Bush. Lots of things slithered out...

Mel Seesholtz is a Professor of English at Pennsylvania State University.