Parents are fond of telling very young children that “you’ll understand when you grow up.”

In these situations, the child frequently understands more than we think. At the very least, the little boy or girl will say, “I won’t ever tell my children that when I grow up!”

Yet things change. We grow older, see more things, and acquire a great deal of new information. The world really is much more complex than we thought it was when we were five, or six, or seven years old. Somehow though, there are some things we just never outgrow. We can never quite stop trying to convince people that, when it comes down to it, we know best. If ever there is an argument between two points of view – the kind that has gone beyond any amount of logic or provable facts – we always know, that in the balance, we always have what it takes to tip the scales. 

Now some of these “controversies” are of a truly insignificant nature. The world will not stop spinning because you think no one should have a purple house. The sun will not go out because your neighbor likes Justin Timberlake. And God Almighty is not invalidated because Michael Musto thinks your favorite movie is a piece of garbage. 

Nevertheless, there really are things that matter. People just cannot act in a certain way without it causing undo hardship to their fellow human beings; without it being notoriously cruel and selfish, or without it depriving a multitude of others of their right to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” One of the greatest lessons of growing up is, in fact, the understanding that each of us, while important, is not the center of the universe. The Cosmos does not revolve around us, nor depend upon us for its existence. 

A popular canard is that it is OK to do something if that something that is in the best interests of other people – interests that, no doubt, those other people are unaware of possessing. There are many examples:

No human being under the age of seventeen may ever be allowed to see a movie that contains references to sex because… because… because… somebody thinks that is bad. 

Nobody should be free to purchase a Macdonald’s Big Mac’s because… they could get fat… And that is… I don’t know… evil.

No one should be permitted to smoke in a restaurant even if that smoking is by the mutual agreement of patrons, staff, and owners because… well that’s obvious… I am not trying to protect my own health… I just don’t think anyone should smoke!

Worst of all, however, is the situation where an entire administration takes it upon itself to completely reorganize and reshape a society. This group – and we won’t name any names here – talks about high-flown concepts like “an ownership society,” or “clear skies,” or even some gibberish about “not leaving anybody’s child behind.” That last one, in particular, is a great example for a piece that is about growing up. 

Those things sounded really good, didn’t they? One of the really important things we learn in growing up is that… “If you are going to lie, at least make it sound believable.” And who can forget that other nugget of wisdom, “Appearances are deceiving.” And how about, “And if you don’t have anything nice to say… just don’t say anything at all!”

In school, we learn these things and more. School – in this country anyway – is supposed to teach us how to think. It is with this lofty aim in mind that, especially in the case of extremely important precepts, we are quick to indoctrinate our children as young as we can get them:

“What is that man doing with that pill?”

“Just say no…!

“Where do babies come from?”

“Just say no…!”

“Why does our government believe that all criticism of itself is wrong, and that good government is conducted in private behind closed doors, and beyond the reach of television camera and Internet chat rooms?

This one obviously gets a longer answer – a mixture of painful “misspeaks,”  ill-informed double talk, and lots of good old fashioned hot air. 

The best illustration of this kind of “I know what’s best” thinking is to be found in today’s brutally considerate Save Social Security campaign. President Bush and his handlers do not want us to know how we should change social security – Trust them, it is none of your business anyway – they just want us to know that there is a problem! 

Hooray!  A problem! I understand! That’s why I want to give George W. Bush absolute and dictatorial powers to solve it for me because I know he is a really caring, and capable, and (best of all) extremely intelligent guy. I trust him implicitly! You see, that is Government’s job – to do the thinking for you! No worries. No problems. It couldn’t be simpler.

I understand this so completely because I understand the “let me help you” supposition that lies behind it. I know that I want an “Ownership Society.” Government programs and government grants… they’re just evil. I don’t know how many times Jesus said that in the Bible. The time he fed all those people with the loaves and fishes – Caesar wasn’t giving out that food.  And when he was the one who wasn’t throwing the first stone… isn’t that a little like Tom DeLay? And what about “do unto others as thou wouldst have them do unto you?” I am sure that George W. Bush and most of his cronies would be happy to be bought off, or paid off, or whatever you want to call it. Heck… sink as much money as you want into the stock market, I am sure Uncle Sam’s accountants can figure out a way for you to come out ahead no matter how much the stock plummets (Don’t know about all those “little people,” but do they really matter?). 

I am really tempted to say, “You just have to take it on faith” that most Americans haven’t really grown up enough to be making important decisions like these. But then again, if you happen to be one of those annoying, precocious little brats that loves to ask questions, that just needs to know… why… then I’ll give you a fact:

Children are very intolerant. They usually don’t like people who are too different from themselves. They also do not seriously consider why they think the way they think. It is sort of like with the “defense of marriage” campaign and stuff like that. An adult would be able to see that two men getting married, or two women getting married, would not really have any effect on the marriage of a man and a woman together.

But then again, kids are always copying each other. I thought I saw Georgie W. flashing a wink at Barney Frank the other day… Might be nothing… but with kids you never know….

I know I heard Condy starting up with Putie again…

And Rummy telling all those other kids in Baghdad how to play….

And then there was that big, foul-mouthed bully, John Bolton….

And what about little Billie Frist running all over the country pretending he is some kind of combination of senator, doctor, apostle, and who knows what else… can’t he just be a fireman like all the other kids?

… And who is going to clean up this big mess anyway?

… Oh…

“Won’t we ever grow up?” 

Brian Adler is a freelance writer and an avid history buff. He writes/researches for a company that produces factual essays and reports on a wide range of subjects. He also writes screenplays and short stories.