Unholy Trinity
Put your faith in George W. Bush—and be forgiven
 

March 29 2005
Counterbias.com
by Brian Adler


And so passes the fifth Easter of the Bush Administration. Each year “the Lord” grows more powerful, his gospel reaching into the farthest corners of the globe.  George W. Bush is nothing if not “consistent.” Mr. Bush may have opposed and then supported the 9/11 investigation; may have opposed and then supported the creation of a Homeland Security Department; may have said that he would never privatize Social Security and… well… you know the story…

Yet Mr. Bush and his Administration have been marvelously consistent where it counts: They have never wavered in their attempts to convince the rest of humanity that George W. Bush is the very embodiment of truth… and that is “truth” with a capital “T.”

There is a wonderfully mystical quality to the Bush Doctrine. In every way, and at every step, it mirrors the workings of the cosmos. The divine dogma may not be easy to understand, but then again, understanding it is not necessary. One need only know, and believe – all is self-evident; as self-evident as thorns on a rose Bush.

Certainly one of the most difficult of Christian doctrines to comprehend is that of the Trinity. One must realize that God is one, and God is three, both at the same time. Of course, nothing is impossible for the Almighty, but for human beings, that is another matter. Ordinary mortals need things explained to them. They require tangible examples, models that they can follow. In comparison to the Deity, men and women are all but children. They understand the mechanics of the Universe as a young child understands how the pretty pictures “pop up” out of a story book. 

Thankfully, George sees our deficiencies and so, has provided us with an easily apprehended example: The Triune Divinity is reflected in the American Government. The government of the United States has three branches – just like God has Three Forms. These three forms are, in reality, one, just like God is One (and Three). It says all of this in the Constitution (read: “Bible”). Executive, Legislative, and Judicial are but different manifestations of the same singular reality. At some point they all converge, uniting themselves into one indivisible, and all powerful whole. 

The Bible gives us parables to explain those things that are too hard to understand in any other way. The Constitution does not contain parables, therefore, it is incumbent upon our leaders (or “leader” – remember, they are all “one”) to demonstrate the reality of these eternal truths through acts – as in “acts” of Congress (though again these acts of Congress are, in reality acts of “the one” i.e. the President).  Witness the presidential parable of the “Culture of Life”:

In endeavoring to save the “life” of one, Terri Schiavo, the United States of America in Congress Assembled – one “branch” – was compelled to declare “null and void” the acts of another “branch” of the deity. At the time, this other branch went under the name of “the Entire Court System of the State of Florida.” Shortly however, it mutated, re-emerging into substantive form as “All the Courts of the Entire Nation of America,” the supreme avatar of which is (quite appropriately actually) called the “Supreme” Court. 

“But if one branch had to nullify the acts of another branch, doesn’t that mean that one branch was wrong, and that the three branches are not, in fact, equal in power, and equal in righteousness?  God… I mean… George… cannot be three and one and one and three!”

Hold on! Let us look at it this way (I am getting an inspiration from Karl) – think of the state and federal courts as angels. Then, think of the Supreme Court as the highest angel – the summit of goodness, of truth and light. If we were speaking Latin we might give to this angel the name of “Lucifer,” or the “Light-Bearer.” Now, if you’ve been reading your Bible – and I certainly hope you have been – you will know that there is another being by the name of Lucifer. This other Lucifer was, at the very beginning of time, the highest of all the angels, and thus evidently, the most righteous and good being before God. Nevertheless, not being God, he was not perfect. He had a fault… a very big one as it turned out – He was jealous of the Real God, and wanted to be just as powerful as Him. This, as we all know, was impossible. Only God can be God. This is why Lucifer became a fallen angel; in fact, the chief of the fallen angels. Lucifer became Satan, and as such, was cast into the very pit of Hell.

Now as far as I know, the nine justices of the United States Supreme Court are still walking this Earth and showing up for work every day. But why? Simple… God… I mean George… is merciful. The all-wise divinity knows that no being but himself can be perfect. We are all sinners – even the highest of the angels. George W. Bush allowed one of his branches (let me repeat – this one Bush has three branches) to sin, and for one simple reason – to show humanity (i.e. All good Americans who support the President) that even the mightiest may sin, and still be redeemed.

And at what price comes this salvation?

A very small one – George W. Bush asks only that you have blind faith in him and in all of his servants and in all of his policies. That’s a simple policy!

What an incredible lesson for Easter weekend!

Put your faith in him and you will be forgiven. 

Disbelieve – and there is a very warm place waiting for you… in Guantanamo… or in Abu Ghraib… or on the Congressional Unemployment Line!

Brian Adler is a freelance writer and an avid history buff. He writes/researches for a company that produces factual essays and reports on a wide range of subjects. He also writes screenplays and short stories.

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