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Conservative New
Year's Resolutions January 10
2005 With George W. Bush’s inauguration right around the corner, I thought I’d take a moment and congratulate conservatives for their successful bid to take over the United States. Republicans control the executive branch and the legislative branch, and partially control the judicial branch, so life is good for Republicans. Well done. That said, I wanted to offer up a few suggestions of New Year’s Resolutions that conservatives could adopt. I know, you’ve already made plenty, but here are a few things to consider as you flex your newly found political power. Resolution: Stop Blaming Bill ClintonThis should have been adopted a long time ago. \It’s time to get over Bill Clinton. Really. I know, he’s a great scapegoat, and you can blame any and all of George W. Bush’s failures on Clinton. Economy in the toilet? Not Bush’s fault! Clinton recession! Osama bin Laden on the loose? Not Bush’s fault! Clinton was offered bin Laden on a silver platter by the Sudanese government! Three times! Yes, Clinton is a great target for Bush’s incompetence, but isn’t time to stop blaming him? This includes Hillary Clinton as well. Let it rest. Resolution: Stop Blaming the Liberal MediaEven if the mainstream media is liberal, why does it matter now? Not that it ever really mattered. Isn’t the fact that George W. Bush won re-election an indicator that the media isn’t all that liberal? After all, if the media held a strong liberal bias, wouldn’t it have worked harder to get John Kerry elected? But no, instead, the “liberal” media reported each and every accusation made against John Kerry by groups like the Swift Boat Veterans for The Truth. Kerry’s opposition had a national forum at its disposal to spread lies and distortions about John Kerry, whether it was a lie about his service in Vietnam or an obvious omission (saying Kerry was the most liberal senator when he only was the most liberal senator in 2003) about his record. Resolution: Hold the Bush Administration AccountableThis goes along with not blaming Bill Clinton for everything. I know this will be a very difficult resolution to keep. Bush supporters do what they can to deflect attention away from failures or mistakes made by the administration. I’m sure Truman’s “The Buck Stops Here” sign has been stuffed into a drawer or broken into pieces and discarded over the Potomac River. When Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld took responsibility for the torture at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq, he should have been held accountable. He wasn’t. Same goes for Iraq weapons of mass destruction. None were found. No one was held accountable for the spectacularly bad intelligence that was the basis of our charge that Iraq had huge stockpiles of weapons. And what happens to the man who headed the agency responsible for the bad intelligence? He’s awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Sure, there have been some rumblings by Republicans over Donald Rumsfeld’s performance as secretary of defense. But Bush isn’t about to let him go. The deficit spending is way out of control. Why aren’t Republicans demanding that Bush stop spending money we don’t have? At his 2001 inauguration, Bush said, “Our national courage has been clear in times of depression and war, when defending common dangers defined our common good. Now we must choose if the example of our fathers and mothers will inspire us or condemn us. We must show courage in a time of blessing by confronting problems instead of passing them on to future generations.” I’d say racking up billions of dollars in debt is the kind of problem Bush was talking about that would be passed along to future generations. And that’s a huge problem to pass along. Resolution: I Will Not Let Sean Hannity Do My Thinking For MeI know, I know, conservatives just love Hannity. Same goes for Limbaugh and every other right-wing pundit. Here’s the problem with Sean Hannity: he lies. A lot. For instance, all of the times he claimed that John Kerry had the most liberal voting record in the Senate. It’s not true. The National Journal ranked him the most liberal senator only one time, in 2003. But Sean never adds that part to his statement. See, he lies. Did I mention that Sean Hannity lies? The next time Sean says that Bill Clinton was offered Osama bin Laden “on a platter” by Sudan, make sure to read the 9/11 Commission’s final report. Where it says the offer was never officially made. Kind of an important fact to know. As for me, I haven’t made any New Year’s resolutions. Like our great president, George W. Bush, I’ve made no mistakes and therefore have nothing to correct. So I’m good, for now. One last thing: if the Bush administration screws up, it’s not Bill Clinton’s fault. Really. |
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