Protecting the Sanctity of Marriage From Heterosexuals
 

November 23 2004
Counterbias.com
Steve Horowitz

The Christian Taliban went 11-for-11 on state gay marriage bans on election day, so they're feeling ... worried.

Apparently too many straight folks (I'm looking at you, Britney Spears!) have been getting divorced "at the drop of a hat," as a lawyer with the conservative Alliance Defense Fund puts it in an Associated Press article.

(Full disclosure: I personally got divorced at the drop of a hat 18 years ago. I tried to pick up the hat, but my wife's lawyer had already seized it.)

So now conservative groups, ever-alert for non-existent threats, have decided that the real threat to marriage is the people getting married. And they're not going to stand idly by while heterosexuals they don't know live their lives as they see fit. They're going to interfere, and try to get the government to also interfere, because they are conservative, and they favor limited government.

As the AP reports, "A bill pending in Michigan's legislature would encourage premarital education; Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and his wife have invited 1,000 couples to join them in a Valentine's Day covenant marriage ceremony in which they would voluntarily reduce their options for a quick divorce."

(Note to self: Think up witty Valentine's I Heart Huckabees
line.)

But government-sponsored Moonie-style mass ceremonies are just the beginning, according to the AP. Also on the agenda: cohabitation, better tax benefits for married couples, a more positive portrayal of marriage in textbooks (About time they got rid of that anti-family "Dick and Jane" propaganda!), "deliberate childlessness," and -- I swear the article says this -- "policies aiding young college graduates so they could afford to marry sooner."

As the father of a young college graduate, I might question focusing government resources on the young graduate marriage problem instead of, say, the weak job market problem, but remember, I'm just a divorced person.

Still, I'm reminded of a History Channel program I saw recently about the SS, the Nazi's elite family values/mass murder organization. Under Heinrich Himmler, single SS officers were "strongly encouraged" to marry and start producing little Aryans as quickly and prolifically as possible. For the good of the nation. And to promote morality and strong families. For as Hitler himself said, the Nazi government "regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality, and the family as the basis of national life."

Not that I'm making any kind of connection here.

Bonus Hitler quote for loyal readers:

"The greatness of every mighty organization embodying an idea in this world lies in the religious fanaticism and intolerance with which, fanatically convinced of its own right, it intolerantly imposes its will against all others."