They Could Call Him Richard, But, Tellingly, They Don't

October 25 2004
Counterbias.com
by Steve Horowitz

One day during this long and fatiguing campaign, John Kerry tried warming up a crowd in Michigan by talking fondly about the Buckeyes. Of hated Wolverines rival Ohio State.

A lot of American voters might not have noticed. Just as they might not have when, at a rally in Wisconsin a week later, Kerry referred to Lambeau Field, home of the Packers, as "Lambert" Field.

Proving, once and for all, that a Kerry presidency would be disastrous beyond imagination.

Typically, Kerry's brazen lies might have been conveniently ignored by the liberal media. Which is why all decent Americans should pause, just for a moment, to thank God for Dick Cheney: Guardian of Truth, Enemy of Obfuscation, Dodger of Draft.

Dick has had plenty to say about Kerry's football follies. "I thought after John Kerry's visit here I'd visit Lambert Field," Cheney told a cheesehead crowd at a Republican fundraiser on Sept. 9. "The next thing is he'll be convinced Vince Lombardi is a foreign leader."

Har!

Then, this past Thursday, Dick reminded a crowd in Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin, of that dark day six weeks ago when Kerry referred to "the hallowed ground where the Packers play - Lambert Field." The crowd booed lustily, and Dick grinned, "I just thought I would remind all of you of that."

And they say the Bush campaign is afraid to talk issues.

Earlier in the day, in Ohio, Dick had tackled head-on the vital question of how often Kerry  goes goose-hunting, noting that Kerry had shot a goose in what seemed to be a new camouflage jacket - "Which did make me wonder how regularly he does go goose hunting."

Under no circumstances will I go for a cheap laugh here by paraphrasing Groucho Marx's line about shooting an elephant in his pajamas. ("How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know.") Because what's at stake is nothing less than how often a presidential candidate kills geese, and whether he packs his own geese-killing jacket for the campaign trail.

Inquiring Ohioans want to know!

And Dick wants to tell them. Because what could be more important to the political process than discussion of hunting jackets and fumbled football references? Unless it's diverting attention from your own well-documented record of, um, inveracities. And the fact that your boss, whom you describe as a strong and resolute leader, doesn't know Sweden from Switzerland, and has a whole shelfload of books devoted to his verbal gaffes. Not to mention a whole wing at the Amazon warehouse devoted to his policy blunders.

Oh, Dick. You're such an ass.