Dennis Miller Transformed

July 22 2004
Counterbias.com
Robert Furs

It’s rare to see a noteworthy American politico transform from one party or ideology to another in a flash.

Famous femmes like Arianna Huffington and Theresa Heinz-Kerry have done it (both Republicans-turned- Democrats), Michael Moore has done it (Green to semi-Dem), as have politicians themselves (Minnesota's Norm Coleman, for instance).

But rarely has the transformation been as large as that displayed by part-comedian, part-Bush-adorer, Dennis Miller.

Here's Miller, sharing his rants in his pre-flip-flop heydays:

• You know, in the end, it's hard to know what history will make of the second Bush presidency. Will it be regarded as an aberration in the electoral process? A surprisingly capable underdog effort? Maybe just a placeholder in the strange but easy-to-remember Presidential sequence "Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton." Whatever is to be, there's one thing we know: It's time for Daddy's little boy to grow up. George W. Bush's seemingly endless supply of free passes is now officially drier than any of the oil wells he once managed.

• As much as I'm willing to give Bush a chance, I'm a little nervous about his intellectual capacity. I mean, at least Clinton had his dick to think with.

• You can say what you want about Bush, but he's going to surround himself with people who are so experienced that they aren't gonna let him eat at the grown-up table for a long time.

• Most presidential candidates try to pick a running mate who won't outshine them, but who would that be for Bush? Maybe Wilson the volleyball from the movie Cast Away

• Let's put Bush's cabinet under the microscope, or, as he calls it, "the little-stuff-to-big-stuff thingy."

• But what I don't understand is how Ashcroft can be so pro-Death Penalty when he lost his last election bid to Mel Carnahan, a dead guy. What's really scary is that most people thought Carnahan won the debates, too.

• National Security Advisor nominee Condoleezza Rice has often been described as W.'s "foreign policy tutor". Oh, yeah, I love the sound of that. It's nice to know we're signing our nuclear arsenal over to a man who needs after-school help. Don't you think the fact that he needs a tutor ought to be raising more eyebrows than Eminem teaching kindergarten on the planet Vulcan?

• For Secretary of State, Bush chose Colin Powell. Okay, no complaints there. Nice to see that Bush picked a minority. After all, a minority picked him.

• I'll take my shots at Dubya, but I actually have high hopes for the next four years. I see George W. Bush working hard to keep the ambitions of big business and the military in check, and ensure that even the lowest job pays a dignified wage. I believe he'll erase the animus that has divided Washington, and bring both sides of the aisle together. I also happen to believe dogs can talk if you touch them in the right spot, and everyone watching me is happy with their body.

These quips were all from January 2001.

On just one episode of Dennis Miller Live.

Now, things are different – alternate universe different – on Dennis Miller.

The host frequently chastises Democrats, and rarely criticizes Republicans. In Miller’s new world, people like Michael Moore and Dennis Kucinich are morons, as are anti-war protesters. Bush fund-raiser appearances reward Miller with rides in Air Force One and Bush’s limo (I thought the term was limousine liberals?).

In his infamous reasoning for the sudden flip-flop in opinion for George W. Bush, Miller claimed, “9/11 changed me”.

Ironically, this apparent flip-flopper uses his newfound campaigner role to accuse Bush's opponent of ‘flip-flopping’.

A July 15 New York Post article states that “Dennis Miller warmed up a crowd for President Bush last night by ripping into Democrat John Kerry as a flipflopper who needs a navigation system implanted in his forehead to know where he's going.”

Meanwhile, Dennis Miller apparently needed images of bombed Arabs and George W. Bush acting “tough” and offering “steady leadership” (after his government’s monumental failure in allowing the 9/11 attacks to occur unimpeded) to know where he’s going.

Either that, or he’s decided that jumping on the Dubya Bandwagon is the easiest route to fame and fortune. Why, he’s now got a television show on the Republican-friendly CNBC network – a show that won’t be cancelled for a while no matter how bad the ratings get – as well as a possible future gig in politics, and opening up for George W. Bush at campaign events.

Whatever the reason for Miller’s change in opinion or ideological leanings, it’s somewhat hard to believe that a (once) seemingly intelligent man who not long ago said that “Bush had the foresight to surround himself with smart people the way a hole surrounds itself with a doughnut”, is now singing Bush’s highest praises.

Is a man whose political beliefs seem to change with the wind capable of credibly, legitimately labeling John Kerry a “flip-flopper” on behalf of a man Dennis Miller just flip-flopped into supporting?