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Iraqis Are Naughty, Spoiled Brats Who Must Be Spanked
Four Americans were killed in Fallujah on 31
March, just days after the First Anniversary of the most triumphant
liberation in history. While Iraqis should’ve, in theory, still been
popping corks and passin’ the Courvoisier in celebration of their
year-young freedom, the residents of the nasty little city of Fallujah
decided instead to lash out at their “oppressors” —four American
civilian contractors. The victims then had their burned bodies dragged,
beaten, and hung by an angry—very angry—mob of Fallujahians. This brutal scene is thus far the most horrific in
America’s yearlong love affair with Shock and Awe, flag-waving, and
precision missile air strikes. While the US media has done its duty
glorifying the war, then switching to sensationalism-mode when Iraqis
began talking smack guerilla-style with suicide bombs and hand-held
rockets, this incident is a blow to a country fine with knowing they’d
invaded a nation based on “faulty intelligence” (a euphemism for
‘lies’). America sat back thinking all was swell and dandy in the
Occupied Region of Iraq. Not so, said these Filthy Fallujahians, who
decided to unjustly lash out against the kind, love-spreading nation
that had liberated it so peacefully. “Saddam is gone, we liberated him for you,
because we love you so”, say the Americans. “Not so”, reply the Iraqis, “for haven’t
you seen”, they plead, “that we’ve been bombing you back and
fighting your forces since Day One? Over six hundred American soldiers
have been killed at our hands—what would make you think we appreciate
such ‘liberation’?” Six hundred American soldiers, with even more
Iraqi civilians killed, they argue. About ten thousand innocent lives
taken (according to iraqbodycount.org). Of course, all is forgiven knowing that Saddam is
gone. Billions are spent to fix schools, rebuild oil production
facilities, and keep the Iraqi’s under occupation. Paid for by
American taxpayers, of course! How do these wicked Iraqi’s thank
America for deciding to rid them of their government, their sovereignty,
and over ten thousand lives? By killing Americans, even after the White
House had implied that the mission was accomplished! Nothing more fitting for a bunch of unappreciative
little pricks, to kill those that try and liberate them. George Bush ought to nuke these bastards for that. Arguments revolving around the opinion that Iraq
is still occupied, still free of freedom, and still relatively free of
true liberation, are simply the whining of the weak. Any lover of
democracy and freedom understands that the Iraqi people must wait their
while to receive the privilege of being granted liberty by America’s
bomb-toting freedom rangers. Americans will grant democracy and elections and
constitutions (and all that good stuff) when they damn well feel like
it. Jesus, these Iraqi clowns have only suffered one war in the last
decade and just over a year of occupation by their sworn enemies—the
Americans, whose leader invaded Iraq without any hint of proper
justification—and they’re already dragging the burned bodies of
American mercenaries through the streets. Relax, guys and gals! It isn’t that serious!
You’ll get your freedom, democracy and control of your country, and
all that, etcetera. Unfortunately for you spoiled brats, the wait will
be just a bit longer than you expected. And it’s your own fault,
too—that’ll teach you to make a scene in the streets of Fallujah.
Sit down, shut up, and let the Americans deal with you. For you must be
shaped into proper, law-abiding citizens, and it’s a tad tough to do
that when you won’t stop your childish Ritalin-starved antics. So, I say that We, the Western World, give those
silly bastards another chance. We’ll run the ol’ place for another
ten, twenty years or so, and if they behave, we’ll distribute
cardboard voting booths and paper ballots. Maybe even some pens and Oh
Henry! bars (poll workers get hungry). But I doubt they’ll sit
still long enough to give us faith in their ability to achieve
self-determination. If it turns out that the liberated Iraqi’s step
out of line and misbehave again, as they most likely will—such are the
psychological workings of a disadvantaged, occupied, oil-rich
group—then America must do something to get these naughty brats back
into line. So
here’s my suggestion to the American government on how to deal with
the ruthless, rage-fueled behavior of any Iraqi’s who would dare
declare war on peace-loving Americans. Invade
their country, overthrow their government, bomb the shit out of 'em,
kill thousands of innocents, send Iraq into chaos, and then occupy those
bastards! That’ll
teach ‘em! |
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© 2004 CounterBias.com