All I Really Needed to Know About Hate, I Learned From Ann Coulter

Apr 2 2004
Counterbias.com
Scott C. Smith

I wanted to open this column with an attack against a Republican triple-amputee Vietnam veteran, but the closest I could come up with was Bob Dole.  But then I came to my senses because anyone who attacks a disabled veteran is just plain evil.  Like Ann Coulter.

In fact, being a veteran myself, I’d never dare attack the patriotism of a fellow veteran.  His policies or politics, sure, that’s fair game, but not his service to his country.  That’s just cowardly.  Right, Ann? 

One thing most conservative pundits have in common is their absolute hatred of anything liberal, and they stop at nothing to attack liberals and liberal ideas in print or on the air.  Hate-monger Sean Hannity’s new book equates liberalism with something “evil” that needs to be “wiped out.”

In fact, pull up just about any columnist from web sites like World Net Daily and they all preach the same message.  Clearly originality is not a trait these writers share.  It’s as if they all have access to the same source material and they write about it over and over and over and over again, to the point that just mentioning Hannity’s name is enough to induce vomiting. 

Liberal columnists and pundits, on the other hand, are too nice.  Why?  I know many do not want to sink to the same level as their conservative counterparts.  While this is admirable, it is not something I’m going to embrace as a liberal columnist.  My plans are to sink to the same level as Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity and the myriad others that pollute the airwaves.

What lessons can I learn from Ms. Coulter?  There are many:

• Take a subject and write about it over and over and over and over again, and write about nothing else. 
  
  

• Make stupid jokes, like when Coulter said to New York Observer reporter George Gurley on Oct. 22, 2002, “My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building.”  That’s funny!  He could have killed hundreds of liberals instead of the people he killed in Oklahoma City!  Sorry, I have to stop writing for a second, my sides are splitting.
  
  

• Make broad generalizations about liberals; they’re stupid and they hate America.
  
  

• Make fun of their looks, how they speak, or if they are rich.  Like Ann!  She’s rich, and, let’s face it, apparently allergic to food.  Does the woman eat?  Maybe she is fueled by her hatred of liberals.

I could go on and on, but just reading one Ann Coulter column is enough to get me on the right track towards insulting conservatives.

For some balance, I thought I’d take a look at the writings of Laura Ingraham.  After all, she has nothing in common with Coulter: aside from the fact that the two women are attorneys, blonde and share a hatred of liberals, they have nothing in common. 

Laura Ingraham wrote a column on Mel Gibson’s The Passion; so did Ann Coulter!  Ingraham wrote a column about Janet Jackson’s breast; so did Ann Coulter!  What an amazing coincidence.  I, for one, am blown away by the dizzying intellect on display by conservatives. 

Turn on the television, and it’s the same crap.  A typical episode of Hannity and Colmes, for instance, will have on the panel at least a dozen conservatives vs. Alan Colmes and the token liberal guest.  Unfortunately, Colmes seems to take Hannity’s side most of the time, so what we’re left with is a bewildered liberal guest who has to fend for himself.

There are a few liberal bulldogs out there, such as James Carville and Paul Begala.  But we need more venom from the left, and I’m happy to take on that role.

...more by Scott C. Smith